My Crowning Glory

I always thought that blondes have more fun because they didn’t know when they did something stupid. Ignorance is, after all, bliss. I do plenty of stupid things but most of the time realise it before you can say “how did you fall over on a flat surface?” This week alone I have set fire to a tea towel, coughed coffee on a friend’s designer silk top, got stuck in a turnstile (again!) and broke a hand-made family heirloom. I am as accident prone as Anne of Green Gables and yes, just as redheaded.
I wonder if it’s the carrot top that makes me feel a little Bridget Jones. I’m not sure I can prove it. But one thing I know: a recent study has shown that female blondes are not dumber but are actually more confident and aggressive than brunnettes. The University of California study (where else would it be done?!) revealed that blondes are more used to getting attention and their own way and are thus are more likely to get angry to reach their goals. Even women in the study with dyed blonde locks apparently developed the same characteristics whilst the brunettes typically worked harder and expected less special treatment. The study said NOTHING about red heads which just shows how much us spitfires are ignored.

Common belief says that scarlet women have fiery tempers but I think we are perfectly composed creatures. Just don’t call us ginger or take away our sun cream and no one needs to get hurt. We aren’t really a cranky race but we are a rare one. Making up only 2% of the world’s population I think it is high time people start to treat us like the precious rubies we are. I would like a redhead club membership card that gets me free fake tan, carrot cake and VIP entrance to exclusive venues. Amy Adams and Prince Harry can be our leaders and when Ronald McDonald references are outlawed we will deign to use our vampiric skin as solar panels. When that day comes, it will be redheads that have more fun, and about time too.